Too involved.

I think the problem with us sometimes, is that we’re too involved.

Too involved in what people think about us, too involved in what we look like, too involved in what’s going to happen next;

Little do we realize, that in these moments of deep thought, we’re missing out.
We’re missing out on some of life’s important moments. The little ones’.

While we looked at ourself and tried to fix everything wrong, someone was staring at us and thinking to themselves; “Wow. She’s/He’s amazing.”
While we worrying about what’s happening in our lives or about what’s coming next, God was sitting back, smiling & saying “I’ve got this. You’re in good hands.”
While we were concerned about what other people thought about us, we lost our own opinion about ourselves.

Let’s stop for a moment today.
Stop trying to fix things, stop stressing and stop worrying.
We’re apart of a plan that’s bigger than any of us and no matter what we’re going through; we need to stop, take a deep breath, and smile.
This isn’t the end.
This could be the beginning. This could be the first paragraph. This could be the middle.
All I know is, this isn’t the end.

Let’s disconnect from ourselves today. Stop being too involved and just enjoy the day.
Today’s a gift, embrace it. Find the good in it.
Love yourself. Love people. Love the uncertainty of life.
It’s going to work out for you.

Advertisements

– if only I knew.

“I made sure that no one broke your heart;” I smiled.

“And if anyone did, I always picked up the pieces for you. I hated seeing you broken.” Those words exited my mouth, as did the tears from my eyes.

“- if only I knew; that when I was fixing your heart… You were crushing mine.”

Roads.

7Utg2d.jpg

We were travelling on many roads, He and I..

Each road let to a different destination in our lives.

However, on these many roads, our destinations were never the same. He was heading South and I was heading North; Further and further away from each other.

Yet, even though our destin(ations)ies were different; no matter what we did, no matter where we were going, we always found ourselves stopping and meeting each other.

Always.

Right at the middle.

An Incomplete Goodbye.

You know those people who come into your life and make you forget about your problems, and suddenly you’re the happiest person on the face of the earth?

Then suddenly, just when you think everything is going your way, they leave.

Slowly, slowly, you start to discover all the bruises on your soul. You realize that those people who made you feel invincible are the very ones’ who were stabbing you. Creeping into your mind, discovering your deepest fears and making sure that they come and haunt you.

Confusing, isn’t it? You were happy. You were infatuated. You were in love.

you were in love. Only you. Not them.

No, they were plotting against you. The very ones’ who promised you a forever, left you with an incomplete goodbye.

That was your biggest fear. Them leaving. They knew you were terrified of that. They knew you were vulnerable and that they, were your only weakness.

Sounds cruel, doesn’t it?

but you know that, don’t you? You know it’s cruel. Yet, you don’t mind being hurt. You don’t mind being heartbroken. In fact, it makes you feel alive.

Knowing that inside your deep dark soul, there’s a fragile heart.

A fragile heart that finally broke because of the ‘perfect soul mate’.

 

It’s time to realize now, darling.

There is no perfect person. It’s just an illusion.

The love you felt, wasn’t love.

The butterflies weren’t butterflies, they were a gut feeling that things aren’t going to always be like this.

The person you loved, was the one who shot you in the heart and left;

with an incomplete goodbye..

That’s what they said.

“You’re not good enough”;

that’s what they said.

“You’re a mess”;

that’s what they said.

“You’re a failure, nothing you do matters”;

that’s what they said.

“You’re a mistake”…..


 

The things they said kept flowing through my brain, like an endless waterfall of pain.

“You’re disappointing”;

that’s what they said.

“You have no potential for anything”;

that’s what they said.

“No one cares about you”…

The words stabbed every part of my body. My reflection was now just a broken soul drenched in blood and covered in wounds, from the words they pressed against me.

Slowly, slowly, my being would tangle into a mess of pain, sorrow, anger;

Can this mess be undone?

Their words would echo in my head and crush every dream, every hope, every happiness.

They said I wasn’t good enough..

They said I should end it all…


 

No. I didn’t.

I was rebellious.

“You can’t do it”, was merely a challenge.

I did, I achieved, I believed in myself.

My mind, heart and soul became stronger than those words of hate.

In a world, in which I was looking for a hero;

I became my own hero.


 

They saw me.

They hated, they envied;

They said I couldn’t do it.

But,

All I said was;

“Try me”.

Death Is A Funny Thing.

 

Death is a funny thing, isn’t it?

It comes in whenever it wants to and takes out every ounce of life inside of us.

Sometimes I wonder if the grim reaper is a clown, holding a balloon saying “happy death-day”.

________________________________________

Death is tough, death is painful.

Death crushes you and gives you no hope for life.

Am I stating the obvious?

Maybe I’m not talking as the person dying.

No, I’m talking as a loved one of the dying person.

Every now and again, most of us take advantage of our life.

We take advantage of our family, our friends, our money, our faith, our health, our relationships; everything.

Have you ever stopped and wondered what would happen if  one day, we’re just living our life and death comes knocking on our door?

What would you do? Would you run away from it? Would you fear it?

COULD YOU run away from it?

That’s our only option isn’t it. We run away from the things we don’t like.

How often do we deal with problems? How often do we say what we want to say? How often do we embrace life and live every hour, minute and second of the day happily?

Could you run away from death? Or do you have no choice but to answer the door?

What would you regret the most when you’re taking those short steps towards the door? What would you think about when you know that your life is just a vapor in the wind, here today and gone tomorrow?

We forget.

We forget to love. We forget to live. We forget to laugh. We forget to forgive. Only because, we’re planning a future that doesn’t even belong to us.

Being so caught up in the world, not once do we think about who we’re hurting. We don’t think about leaving a positive impact in the world. All we care about, is ourselves.

Is that what you’re going to remember before you die? That you did everything in your power to take care of you and only you?

Won’t you remember the people who made you happy? The good times you had? The people you helped? The time God answered all your prayers? Your first kiss, your first love, your first friend, your first day of school; the list is endless.

Or will you remember the lost laughs, the “what if’s”, the things you should have said.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO REMEMBER?

It’s your choice. Today, I put it all into your hands.

Do you want to remember and be remembered?

DO you want to live a life that counts?

Stop taking advantage. Stop taking advantage of everything and anything.

This life, doesn’t belong to you. The plans you make today might not last tomorrow because it just simply is NOT up to you.

Life is short, reader. You need to start making the most of it. Embrace yourself. Be the best you. Tell people what makes you happy. Write, love, kiss, laugh, feel;

Live TODAY, not tomorrow.

Do everything that’ll make you happy, because, on the day you’re walking towards the end, you’ll look back on your life;

You’ll realize that you lived the best life ever.

That doesn’t mean you won’t have any regrets. Everyone has regrets.

What it means is, you’ll remember that, even though life knocked you down sometimes and distracted you, you didn’t stay down there. You stayed focused.

You loved selflessly. You stopped taking advantage. You were happy for the most you could remember and you made other people feel something. You made people smile.

Death is a funny thing. The grim reaper is definitely a clown.

However, I believe that if we live a good life; full of joy, happiness, not much regret and memories,

the joke is on him/her/it. Not on us.

When was the last time?

When was the last time you did something something small that made your soul do a happy dance?

Was it a day ago?

A week?

A month?

A year?

Do you even remember the last time you did something that made you insanely happy, and it wasn’t even a big deal?

________

Today was a great day for me. Why?

Let me tell you a story.

As I was heading home in a tuk tuk; beautiful, soft, cold, crystal-like water droplets started falling all around. Since tuk tuks don’t have much coverage and the guy driving me didn’t feel like stopping and rolling the curtains down, little raindrops started brushing up against my face and my body. Speeding down the main road, the wind started getting harder; in this moment, the water which had now made their mark on my face started evaporating in the most blissful, cold and comfortable way possible. It tingled my senses. Feeling that icy water on my face, making it’s way up to the air, made me feel like I was invincible.

For what reason I do not know, I became insanely happy. My soul did a little happy dance.

Seems kind of silly doesn’t it?

Yet, I didn’t think it was.

In a money centered world like today, we often forget to stop and smell the roses.

All that matters now is money, becoming the best at something, being better than everyone else or living to please someone who doesn’t even deserve it;

WHEN was the last time you did/experienced something small that made your soul do a little happy dance?

I don’t mean receiving your monthly pay check. I don’t mean getting over a thousand likes on Instagram. I don’t mean getting the latest iPhone;

No, what I mean is,

when was the last time you danced in the rain and got a terrible cold after?

When was the last time you spent an entire day with someone you love, and laughed for hours, not because something was funny, but because you were with them and that’s more than enough to make you feel something. To make you feel like you belong.

When was the last time you wore anything you wanted to, not caring if people will find it ‘hot’ or not?

When, tell me, was the last time you petted a dog or a cat or a squirrel or a horse (whatever you may prefer) and felt absolutely loved just knowing that they love you for who you are?

When was the last time you felt like the world is infinite; and there are so many things you haven’t seen yet?

I ask you,

When was the last time you went to a church, knelt down to pray and felt a wave of peace overtake you?

——-

Or did you forget? Did you forget there were little things in life? Did you forget that money isn’t the answer to every question?  Did you forget that there’s more to life than what people think of you? Or are you still living a lie? Are you living to own a yacht when you’re 60, or are you living to feel happiness in every waking moment of your life?

Most of the time, people mistake happiness to money or ONE individual human, but is that what happiness is?

Is happiness one thing or is happiness a bunch of things? If I were to ask you, what would you say?

Let me tell you another a story, about a girl who lived to please everyone around her.

It didn’t matter if she was happy or not. It didn’t matter if she danced in the rain or saw a beggar smile as  she gave him money. No, what mattered to her was, she wasn’t good enough in everyone’s eyes. She was a failure, she was not like the other girls, she cared too much.

One day, she broke. She lost the battle she was fighting. Whatever she did, wasn’t good enough. She was merely a joke.

Let me tell you something though,

That girl, stopped running through life and saw all the little things around her. She saw people smile, she inhaled the fresh dust that arose off the dry ground when the rain came down in awhile, she realized that she laughed at her own jokes and people loved her for that, she realized that, these little things? These little things are what mattered. Knowing that life is just beginning for her. Knowing that the right people loved her for who she is. Knowing that she had one little thing everyday that made her soul do a little happy dance.

 

So I ask you again.

When was the last time you did something small that made you feel amazing?

If you can’t remember; Go out there. Be spontaneous. The world is yours. Happiness is at every corner.

See, feel, experience, hear just one tiny beautiful thing and tell me what it’s like. Tell me how it feels knowing that even though life is hard sometimes, there’s some small thing that makes you realize that you’ve got the best of both worlds. Tell the world how it feels like to know that, in bad situations, there’s always a little good hanging around.

Do something, feel something, experience something, hear something, ANYTHING small, that makes you feel like you’re a part of a big and wonderful plan, that’s making your life a little bit better everyday.

Start realizing that these little things in life, ARE the big things.

I’ve loved, and I’ve gained.

Do you know what it’s like to love and to have lost;

because I do.

Do you know how it feels to have every inch of your being, shattered into pieces;

because I do.

Do you know what it’s like to love like there is no tomorrow;

because I do.

Do you know how it feels to see beauty in a soul that’s darker than the night;

because I do.

Tell me,

Do you know what it’s like to cry and to cry until it merely becomes a reflex to you;

because I do.

Panic, fear, lust, love, numbing every inch of my body;

You left me there in the cold of the night, without any clarity in my sight.

I was broken, I was shattered, my heart lost its’ form..

Do you know what it’s like to be vulnerable to a demon, posing as everything you’ve ever wanted;

because I do.

Yet,

What I didn’t know was,

The hurt that paralyzed my soul, left my eyes blinded to the truth.

NO, I haven’t loved and lost.

I’ve loved and gained. 

I’ve learned that my heart, which was once a formless vessel of unheard cries; is now a heart of steel.

I’ve learned that, losing breaks you; then builds you into a magnificent masterpiece of mosaic glass.

I’ve learned that beauty can be found even in the darkest of souls;

I’ve learned that, crying makes you stronger and makes your heart wander, towards the things that you deserve.

I’ve learned that pain makes you feel death.


 

I’ve learned that love isn’t pain.

Love is beautiful. Love is peace. Love is selfless. Love is happiness.

And today,

Because of you,

I was a pot of clay that was broken;

Now, I am mended with gold lacquer.

Because of you,

My broken soul, is more beautiful than before, BECAUSE OF YOU,

I’ve loved and I’ve gained.

 

 

Selfish people, everywhere.

peaceforparis-featured

Scrolling through my Facebook feed and seeing so many profile pictures changed to the flag of France, really made me believe in humanity once again.

However, my temporary happiness was shattered when I saw posts of people complaining that no one supported their country when they had war. Coming from a nation that experienced war for 25 years, I understand.

Yet, what I don’t understand is, just because people have chosen now to care about Paris, why are we complaining about being left out? Does it matter that no one changed their profile picture to another countries’ flag? No one changed their profile pictures to my countries flag when we were suffering from war; do you see me complain though? NO.

Why? Simply because, I’m not selfish. It doesn’t matter if no one changed their profile picture when my country was at war. What matters is, the people around the world chose to pray for my country nevertheless (minus the social media craze).

Let’s face it, social media wasn’t a big deal five years ago. It was still developing. However, now with the advancement of technology and the countless amount of people on social networks throughout the world, it isn’t hard to come together and stand up for something they believe in.

Today, social media decided to stand up against terrorism. Praying for Paris. Praying for the world. Refusing to let disunity cause the loss of precious life.

Are you annoyed that people “only care about Paris”?

You don’t need to be “trending” on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to be cared about!

When I changed my profile picture today to the colors of the French flag, I didn’t do it to support only Paris.

I changed it along with the other 70 million people to show that, together, united, as one family, we are standing against terrorism. Not just in Paris, but all around the world.

The bottom line is, change the way you think. People care about your country too; but instead of complaining and being plain selfish, realize that sometimes, you need to sought the good of others, rather than the good of yourself. For the sake of this world, let’s stop being selfish and start being selfless.

Join me along with the rest of the world to pray for every country, every nation and every people. Let’s change the way we think, stand together against disunity, and eventually, change the world 🙂

“Rather in humility value others above yourselves,not looking to your own interest, but each of you the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

God bless you.